6 easy ways to gain fat

Because my last article was about how to lose fat in 3 easy ways, here’s the easy fat gain version! It’s great if you want to go up a pant size, get the feeling your car is shrinking or your clothes are shrinking. The best thing is that your health decreases. Alternatively, you could go against these tips and get lean and healthy. The choice is yours. You control your life!

1. Stay at home or move around outside with the car

Make sure you’re not burning calories during the day. Sitting down on the couch is a good way. Never walking is a good one as well. Just always take the car wherever you go. Bottom line, don’t move. Moving makes you lean. 

2. Wait for the New Year resolution before you start a diet

First of all it’s still a long time, so you can eat pizzas and drink beer every day until that day. Let’s even change the rules to February resolution. An extra month of getting fatter! Don’t believe the guy who says ‘lets start now’.

3. Replace water with calorie filled drinks

Water is healthy for our body and it doesn’t contain any calories. We don’t want that. We want that iced cinnamon sprinkles whip cream latte. And lots of beer.

4. Don’t workout

Working out burns calories, increases overall health and makes you feel better and more confident on a daily basis. haha no we don’t want that. Stay away from the exercising and stay sedentary.

5. Lose all your muscle mass

Yes, the more muscle you have, the more calories your body will burn on a daily basis. Again, we wouldn’t like that. Start off by never eating protein ever again. So eating crisps with whip cream with a beer every meal is a great option. And you can workout in a way your body thinks, we don’t need that muscle. So If your body can squat 300 lbs, Lets do glute bridges with a 30lbs dumbbell for 20-25 reps for the burnnnnn. ohhh yeaaaa.

6. Make lots of excuses

One of the best ways to maintain your fatness is to make excuses. Good ones are: I don’t have time to cook, always too tired after working, I didn’t have anything else than pizza and beer. Don’t believe the guy that says: ‘You have your life in your own hands’. because we don’t. Life controls us and thats why we get fat.

So, no this is not something i’d recommend anyone to follow. Im just trying to tell you that there are no excuses for anything. We all have full control over our lives. If you want change, lets go for it

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